Just so you know, this didn’t happen in NEW Jersey.

Though this sounds like something that would happen there.

Apparently, these parasitic marine isopods (related to pillbugs!) eat out the tongue of fish, then, in a stunning display of the ferocity of nature when it decides to fuck you up, live in the mouth of the fish and act as their tongue, the only known case in nature where a parasite serves as a function replacement of a host structure.

Do NOT French kiss it.

Thanks to the tireless toiler down at Pharyngula for finding this one, though I also did see it once in a less reputable source.